Some things just happen as they will in
life. Some things are just written in that destiny pad and no one can
understand why they happen. Sometimes women also cheat; maybe not for the same
reasons as their male counterparts, maybe not just for the heck of it. Maybe
there comes a time when the bell in her mind keeps ringing, signaling the
manifestation of profound unhappiness. Maybe things just happen. A lot of
unfortunate things befall us in our pursuit of happiness. At times the things
that we go for in relationships change. It is very easy to wake up one day and realize
that the one you thought you could spend the rest of your life with just does
not bring you those feelings any more. I may be the wrong person to handle
beauty and a cheat. I may not really know what some women hold in the deepest
corners of their hearts. I do insist that I never speak for the women who toy
around and go after material things. I am a woman and for sure I do know the
things that time and again would have been my reasons for cheating.
The ultimate reason why any woman would
cheat is when she feels less appreciated, when the man begins to ignore the
very existence of her. You have to admit that in this very busy life, we at
times forget to show the ones we love how much they mean to us. Life becomes
sort of a routine. Men stop phoning. Men stop sending messages. They stop
showing the woman how much she is worth. Little compliments do go a long way.
However, picture having your husband actually becoming more of a roommate than
a partner. You can feel the rift between you widening. Everyone retreats to
that silent corner after work. What would you do if there was someone out there
who complimented you, who spoiled you, who cared how you felt? Most women cheat
because the spark is gone, the man no longer cares, no longer appreciates,
takes her for granted. Most times the men do not even notice the shift in the
relationship. Most times when women complain they are labeled as nagging. We all
know that any real man never stops showing the woman he loves how much she
means to him even after he has got her. We all know a woman's sexual appeal is
ignited by the attention she receives all through the day from someone she
loves. Take that away and she is left wondering if she could have done better.
She is left wallowing in a loneliness that she could decide to have erased by
anyone who cares to give her the attention she requires.
Women love being seduced, courted, and
feeling wanted. Men often think that they do not need to work as hard once the
girl is in their pockets. Women sometimes cheat because the fire has dimmed
down. Sometimes the sexual satisfaction is just way below par. Sometimes the
everyday routine becomes almost like torture. Light up her imagination. Try
different things. Find out what brings out the sparkle in her eyes, what makes
her feel loved and cherished. Otherwise she might be lying there thinking that
you are not the man she married, and that is always a dangerous road to go
down. There are times a woman isn't really in a relationship. There are times
the woman, believe me, has already ended a relationship in her mind even before
letting the man know and she is just moving on. Sometimes we get fed up of
trying to make it work. Sometimes the fire fizzles out. Sometimes we grow up
and we stop going for the swag and glamour, but instead begin looking for
someone we could settle down with. Sometimes we cheat to make an unaware man
jealous. Sometimes we cheat because our men have done it before and we are
looking for the sweetest revenge. Sometimes we cheat because we feel
vulnerable. The truth is, infidelity for any woman, most often begins with
emotional cheating. When she can't find a listener in her husband, she will
look elsewhere for that hug, for that assurance, for the praises of beauty that
shoot up her self-confidence beyond the sky.
Yes, some women do cheat. However, I
find it hard to believe that any woman would even think of doing this if the
emotional attachment she had in her relationship was satisfactory. We are by
far very emotional beings. We need to feel the connection. We need to feel the
love, the security that we are the queens of the castle. Believe me if the
attention we seek from you dwindles, if you ignore us and only meet us up in
bed, if you no longer drop in that unexpected text or gift, someone might just
come our way and sweep us off our feet. The grass on the other side may not
always be greener, but maybe just for a while we would feel appreciated. So
always keep in mind the Luo saying that goes, “A woman is like a bicycle, if
you do not keep it well, someone might steal it and ride it.” You have to oil
your bicycle with love, with words, with deeds. Do not expect that a woman
knows how you feel. We may be able to read your minds but we still need to be
told, to be shown, to be held.
Written by Maureen Songa
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