DRESSES WITH FLATS

A few ladies around town, I have noticed, seem to be in the dark about what to do with teeny tiny dresses. If you have the frame to carry off the short dress look, and pair it up with flats, the following are some pointers you can use:

• The short dress should be an inch or more above the knee.
• The accompanying flats should be super feminine, embellished, open toed or even fully covered.
• For open toed sandals, high waisted skirts, or rather dresses in this case, fill out the look best.
• The short dress also looks better flared especially for slimmer frames.
• An important thing to note is that you should avoid at all costs wearing panty hose/tights with ballet flats and dresses, needless to say it looks a tad tacky.
• Lastly, rough cuts like denim and leather jackets add an interesting contrast to the dresses and flats look.

Written by Freddy Njeri

Go to the Magazine Website: www.spinklymagazine.com

BEAUTY AND A CHEAT: WHY WOMEN CHEAT

Some things just happen as they will in life. Some things are just written in that destiny pad and no one can understand why they happen. Sometimes women also cheat; maybe not for the same reasons as their male counterparts, maybe not just for the heck of it. Maybe there comes a time when the bell in her mind keeps ringing, signaling the manifestation of profound unhappiness. Maybe things just happen. A lot of unfortunate things befall us in our pursuit of happiness. At times the things that we go for in relationships change. It is very easy to wake up one day and realize that the one you thought you could spend the rest of your life with just does not bring you those feelings any more. I may be the wrong person to handle beauty and a cheat. I may not really know what some women hold in the deepest corners of their hearts. I do insist that I never speak for the women who toy around and go after material things. I am a woman and for sure I do know the things that time and again would have been my reasons for cheating.

The ultimate reason why any woman would cheat is when she feels less appreciated, when the man begins to ignore the very existence of her. You have to admit that in this very busy life, we at times forget to show the ones we love how much they mean to us. Life becomes sort of a routine. Men stop phoning. Men stop sending messages. They stop showing the woman how much she is worth. Little compliments do go a long way. However, picture having your husband actually becoming more of a roommate than a partner. You can feel the rift between you widening. Everyone retreats to that silent corner after work. What would you do if there was someone out there who complimented you, who spoiled you, who cared how you felt? Most women cheat because the spark is gone, the man no longer cares, no longer appreciates, takes her for granted. Most times the men do not even notice the shift in the relationship. Most times when women complain they are labeled as nagging. We all know that any real man never stops showing the woman he loves how much she means to him even after he has got her. We all know a woman's sexual appeal is ignited by the attention she receives all through the day from someone she loves. Take that away and she is left wondering if she could have done better. She is left wallowing in a loneliness that she could decide to have erased by anyone who cares to give her the attention she requires.

Women love being seduced, courted, and feeling wanted. Men often think that they do not need to work as hard once the girl is in their pockets. Women sometimes cheat because the fire has dimmed down. Sometimes the sexual satisfaction is just way below par. Sometimes the everyday routine becomes almost like torture. Light up her imagination. Try different things. Find out what brings out the sparkle in her eyes, what makes her feel loved and cherished. Otherwise she might be lying there thinking that you are not the man she married, and that is always a dangerous road to go down. There are times a woman isn't really in a relationship. There are times the woman, believe me, has already ended a relationship in her mind even before letting the man know and she is just moving on. Sometimes we get fed up of trying to make it work. Sometimes the fire fizzles out. Sometimes we grow up and we stop going for the swag and glamour, but instead begin looking for someone we could settle down with. Sometimes we cheat to make an unaware man jealous. Sometimes we cheat because our men have done it before and we are looking for the sweetest revenge. Sometimes we cheat because we feel vulnerable. The truth is, infidelity for any woman, most often begins with emotional cheating. When she can't find a listener in her husband, she will look elsewhere for that hug, for that assurance, for the praises of beauty that shoot up her self-confidence beyond the sky.

Yes, some women do cheat. However, I find it hard to believe that any woman would even think of doing this if the emotional attachment she had in her relationship was satisfactory. We are by far very emotional beings. We need to feel the connection. We need to feel the love, the security that we are the queens of the castle. Believe me if the attention we seek from you dwindles, if you ignore us and only meet us up in bed, if you no longer drop in that unexpected text or gift, someone might just come our way and sweep us off our feet. The grass on the other side may not always be greener, but maybe just for a while we would feel appreciated. So always keep in mind the Luo saying that goes, “A woman is like a bicycle, if you do not keep it well, someone might steal it and ride it.” You have to oil your bicycle with love, with words, with deeds. Do not expect that a woman knows how you feel. We may be able to read your minds but we still need to be told, to be shown, to be held.

Written by Maureen Songa

ROASTED MAIZE SALAD

If you have tried and liked roasted maize seasoned with some chili, you will definitely love this salad: It’s pretty easy to put together. I always loved the smoky taste of maize cooked over a grill, or on a jiko, so this recipe easily became a favourite! You can also try it with corn instead of maize. Moreover, corn cooks a little easier so you can brown 2 cups of corn on a heavy skillet.

Coriander leaves make this salad different and healthy. The leaves are high in antioxidants. The chemicals from the leaves also have antibacterial activity against Salmonella. Coriander leaves are a good source of Thiamin and Zinc, and a very good source of Dietary Fiber, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E (Alpha Tocopherol), Vitamin K, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Pantothenic Acid, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, Copper and Manganese.

This recipe makes 4 side dish servings. The combination of the colours makes it particularly interesting, but the best part is how great everything comes together.

Ingredients

 4 ears husked maize

 2 Tbsp fresh lime juice

 1/8 Tsp chili powder

 1 cup finely chopped red pepper

 1/2 cup fresh coriander leaves

 1/8 Tsp salt

Method

Place ears husked maize on grill and cook until kernels are browned. Cool slightly and cut kernels from cobs. Transfer to large bowl and immediately stir in fresh lime juice and chili powder. Cool slightly, then stir in finely chopped red pepper, coriander, and salt.

Written by Yvette Green

Go to the Magazine Website: www.spinklymagazine.com

The Ideal Woman; Part 1

I think every woman should sit down and write a literal letter to her  little mini-self, to steer herself along the bumpy paths and  have the tools and skills she needs to take control of her own life. Stereotypes held that our fulfillment was only in sexual passivity, male domination & nurturing maternal love and projected us as unable to make important decisions, dependent and in need of a man's protection and acceptance. We've now become the super women who completes all tasks of an ideal woman while still maintain career goals of the modern woman. Now for those learning the ropes here's how we got here and every woman must know this, be this and have this.

  l Read Often
      Intelligence is refreshing. My lecturer used to tell me, “a smart woman knows a little bit about a lot of things.”.There is much more to life than your work and spending time aimlessly with latest technology products. Reading books gives you that much needed break from the chaos in your life. It instills peace inside you, makes you relaxed and also exercises your brain in the process. Read biographies/autobiographies of highly successful people in different industries. Notice common themes in their stories, and take comfort that everyone clueless and began from somewhere, and getting to the top hasn’t been a smooth ride for anyone.

 l  Know When to Be Quiet

      seemingly every parent I know told their children some version of “You have two ears and one mouth” as a way f encouraging them to listen. It’s advice to take into adulthood. If you’re always talking, you’re always telling too much. Sit back and observe more. You aren't responsible for knowing everything all the time or even knowing when people need to talk some of the time, just be aware of them and they will somehow let you know it’s time for you to be quiet. Let other folk yammer on. You might be startled what you discover and we all  sure know that silence is golden.

 l  Be a Do-er

Plan to win. Don’t be content with simply having a great idea. After all, the idea is often just a small fraction of the journey. It’s what you do with your ideas, dreams, and passions that count. In your journey to be a doer, remember, as your thoughts become more, you become more. Therefore commit to thinking on a higher level, develop high goals and plans of implementation, establish and maintain relationships that add to your life instead of subtract, and diminish the barriers to your motivation. People respect folk who get things done, period. Doesn’t matter how big or lofty it is, it can always be broken down into baby steps. When I am overwhelmed by an assignment or new task, I’ve found myself asking, “And so how do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.” (Think about it.)

l  Go Out Alone

You should know how to enjoy your own company, whether it’s taking yourself to a movie, a concert or across an ocean on a trip. If you don’t treat yourself well, why should anyone else? And if you can’t stand to be alone with you … Again, why should anyone else? You can go places on your own and survive - you can meet new friends, and have great times without waiting to tag along with others. It's a great feeling!

 l  Be Confident and Gorgeous

Choose clothes that suit your body shape, your coloring and your personal lifestyle. Don't choose something just because it's high fashion; focus on classic pieces which you can wear and love forever. Exercise two hours everyday. Use a program that you are physically capable of doing. Drink enough water. Keep hydrated but don't get ridiculous. Displaying your confidence through walk, smile, and gaze goes a long way towards being attractive, even if you might not have the "societal" standards of beauty (i.e a certain bust size, long legs, luscious hair etc.). Bright, intelligent eyes are also very appealing. Women who possess confidence and character are far more beautiful, no matter their physical appearance.

l  Learn to love yourself

This is probably the most vital part of the process. Believe it or not, no matter how bad you feel about yourself, you are not alone. So many girls feel depressed or are in competition with others. Self-love is at the very core of wellbeing, joy, self-empowerment, and your ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want. You cannot enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.

To start building self esteem, first listen to how you talk to yourself. You first have to be aware of a situation before you can change it. Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

"There is something wrong with me. I’m really messed up." "It’s all my fault."  "I’m incompetent. I don’t know what I’m doing."  "I’m not (good, smart, attractive, rich, etc.) enough."  "I’m not as (good, smart, attractive, successful, etc.) as that person."  "I’ll never be able to do this. I don’t have what it takes." e.tc.

Until you learn how to love yourself, this is how you will keep crippling yourself. You will not be able to move forward or go after the things you want.;  humility, patience, discipline, punctuality, effort and friendliness have the biggest chance of helping one achieve a lasting success and enjoyable life.

We exhaust this in the next issue but do start today to be the ideal woman!

 Written by Ricalda Makena

Go to the Magazine Website: www.spinklymagazine.com

Celebrating Mothers

Imagine a world where mothers did not exist. Imagine if they could not hold us in their bosoms and cuddle us to sleep. What if we couldn't learn from their strides and share in their life lessons? Certainly life would not be what it is today. In fact life would not exist at all. Mothers not only share in the sacred nature of creation. They are called to nurture, to teach, to love in the most selfless manner of all. There are mothers who sacrifice their all just for the benefit of their children. There are mothers who would rather go hungry than see the pain in their children's eyes. There are mothers who spend most of their life praying for the success and joy of their siblings. No one else in this world can boost a child's self-esteem as the mother herself. Certain mothers die for their children. Certain mothers hide their own pain, their own tears, not wanting to upset their children. There are many who stay in abusive marriages simply for the sake of the kids. A mother's love is really a reflection of how much our Heavenly Father loves us. When a mother holds you tight, tells you that everything will be okay, when a mother's eyes shine so bright with pride, then you know that you have tasted a piece of heaven. We should always be grateful for the mother's wings that provide us with ultimate protection. It is only a mother, under the skies, who loves that which she has not seen, who prophesies and lines out dreams for us even before we are born. They spend a whole nine months laying out the aspirations they have for us, creating images of how perfect we will look like, blessing us with their prayers.

I have been blessed with at least three mothers in my life. Their love runs deep, with so much certainty, with so much purpose. I still remember my birth mother, though I only shared in her presence for less than eight years of my life. I still remember how she had to break her back trying to create a future for her children. How she had to sell illicit brew to buy bread and sugar for us. She sacrificed her own happiness; put her life on the line for us. She was the strongest force I ever felt in my young life. She went through it all, loved us till at the meager age of thirty one, life slowly slipped away from her. Nevertheless, the dreams she held for us, the love and strength always lived in us forever. I also hold in my memories, my maternal grandmother. The generosity in her heart, the inspiration, the courage to take in so many of us, orphaned at a young age always leaves me in awe. She brought up so many, some not even her own. Though strength was slowly diminishing, she still loved us, prayed for us endlessly, rosary after rosary, Hail Mary after Hail Mary. You could hear the sound of her rosary at odd hours of the night, wee hours of the morn. Some of us deep asleep, not a care in the world, but she spent most of her waking hours praying for us. At any given moment I knew that in a corner of this world, there was a mother who earnestly prayed for my success.

Ever since I became a mother myself, I have come to understand that once mother brings you into this world, you should be entirely grateful. There are a myriad of challenges that mothers face. You need to hold in a special place those of them whose love surpasses those challenges, those who decide to give you a lease of life. Mothers are a gift that is invaluable. If you are blessed to have a mother who is still alive, make sure you do cherish the moments, make sure you do uphold her dignity even in old age. For there are some who long to even taste a spoonful of that motherly love, there are some who still ask God why their mothers had to die so young, there are some who on lonely nights still cry themselves to sleep after speaking to their imaginary mothers. Mothers go through a lot. A mother's love is a deep well that never runs low. Mothers give life, a lifeline, a legacy, an actual basis for most of our lives. As the mother's month comes our way again, let us remember to celebrate our mothers for what they have done in our lives. Let us give thanks and rejoice. Let us pray for their good health. Let us learn from them and cherish every single moment we share with them. Happy mother’s day to all you proud mothers.

Written by Maureen Songa

Go to the Magazine Website: www.spinklymagazine.com

Body Fitness Motivation!

I don’t know about you, but I know there are many times I’ve fallen out of my workout routine or my healthy eating habits. Normally when this happens it’s because I’ve lost a few pounds and console myself saying, “It’s alright, not like I’m gaining weight anyway!”

See that’s the problem most of us have. We don’t see past the fact that working out is not only about losing weight. It is also done to keep fit, have a toned body and stay healthy as well.  So yes, we all need to work out, nobody is excused!

Here is how to stay motivated on your workout routine:

1.    Find Personal Motivation to Exercise.

What motivates you? It could be the number on the scale that surprises you, a doctor’s recommendation advising you on your health a holiday vacation trip up ahead… anything, find motivation!

2.    Set Realistic Goals to Get Fit

Not everyone’s weight loss or body gives the same results. You can aim for an exercise guideline that is given, but don’t worry too much when you don’t meet them at start because this is normally when people lose motivation, they try to do too much too soon and fall short.

3.    Stop Thinking of it as Exercise – Do Something You Enjoy.

Whether it is that Zumba, Pilates, or dance DVD that gets you excited, keep on track with what keeps you going. Maybe if it’s swimming you enjoy, fit it into your schedule. You can also choose to walk your dog, or just take a simple walk around the neighborhood. For some people, going to the gym provides structure that helps them focus and a sense of accomplishment when they’re done. Either way, whatever form of exercise you decide to do, fit it into your schedule and make sure you enjoy it.

4.    Plan How to Fit Exercise Into a Hectic Schedule.

If you wait for time to open up, chances are you won’t be able to squeeze in a walk or a dance class very often. To avoid getting side tracked, you can opt for the stairs as opposed to taking the lifts. Add physical activities to things you already do. Example, take a walk with a friend to catch up instead of calling them on the phone. You can also ride on a stationary or be on a treadmill while reading a book or watching TV. Involve yourself in fun things like going ice skating with your kids or playing physical fun games that will make you work off some sweat.

5.    Bounce Back From Setbacks

I always advice my friends to always keep their weight in check by having a weighing scale around and being regular on it. Better to maintain than to regret later and having to get rid of all the weight gained. Either way in whichever the case, if you have a setback, never be discouraged, just try and bounce back to your routine. Let’s say you set a reasonable fitness goal. You’ve prepared for potential problems yet somehow you didn’t make it to the gym, don’t let that be your downfall. It simply means you replace the gym with other activities that will help you work out.

There you have it! Stay motivated, and now let’s work out! 

Written by Sylvia Oloo with reference from Linda Wasmer Andrews

Go to the Magazine Website: www.spinklymagazine.com

Moving In Together: What You Don’t Know Yet

Who doesn’t dream of it: Coming home to the love of your life, turning in bed in the middle of the night only to catch a whiff of his scent; waking up in the morning in his arms. Living in eternal bliss? Ahem, come back to reality! Moving in with a partner is, admittedly, not as glamorous as we imagine it to be. It’s exhausting. It’s exhilarating. And it’s crazy all at once.

You’ll Have to Share Space

Even the most extroverted of us requires their own space. Space to breath. And space to think. When you move in with your partner, you will have to give up the notion of ‘your space’ and come to terms with ‘our space.’ You will share a bed, a bathroom, cups, pans, phones, the fridge. Everything that you thought was yours including ‘your space’ is no longer yours. Give it up.

You’ll Get Pissed off and Laugh

Your partner will be the person who will annoy and frustrate you the most. His dirty boxers, her bubble gum stuck beneath the bed, his disturbing table manners and her annoying whining. The things that didn’t really piss you off about him before you started living together will start to irk the hell out of you. Sometimes you might fight about it and then laugh it off until the next time.

You’ll Get Really Tired

Living alone, you only had you to think about. You only had to make one cup of tea. Prepare just one omelet. Do your own little heap of laundry in 10 minutes. Two is a crowd and this means that your tasks and responsibilities will double or triple depending on the type of help you get from your partner. You will need to make two cups of tea. Black for him, white for you, two omelets- one with chili, and one with green pepper sans chili. Laundry for two will be a complete deal breaker.

Nevertheless, what you choose to do with these experiences is entirely your choice. No one ever said relationships are a walk in the park, though you might do well to take a walk together hand in hand, regularly, if only to relieve the sweet old memories when you lived independent of each other. 

Written by Donna Moses

Go to the Magazine Website: www.spinklymagazine.com

OUR HAIR TYPES: TYPE THREE HAIR

 In our past issue we spent time understanding type four hair which is described as course or kinky. This month we move into type three hair which is describes as curly. The needs of curly hair and kinky hair are similar in that there is a tendency for hair to be dry and thus brittle so a key similarity in maintenance is a regular moisturizing routine.  Let us recap on the three hair types with the diagram below.

Type 3 hair just like type 4 hair has categories A, B and C depending on the tightness of the curl.

Type 3 hair is described as having a definite 'S' patter or a cork screw pattern. Just like type 4 it has tendency to be dry as sebum from your scalp and takes longer to work up to the tips of the hair. Type 3 hair is also known to have lots of body and is easily styled. It is not course as most people believe but it is very soft and fine in texture. It has few tangling issues but the real challenge with type 3 hair is frizz as a result of humidity exposure. 

Type 3A                                                           Type 3B                                                        Type 3C

 As you move from A to C the curls get tighter. The curlier the hair the drier it tends to be.

 A big positive about type 3 hair though, is that it does not tangle much and is soft. The challenge with curly hair on the other hand is it’s the ability to be larger than life with its ability to frizz in high humidity areas. It requires loads of moisture and frizz control. The best thing about it is that with some heat and time it is easy to get it straight. Let’s look at little suggestions and tips that hopefully help you figure this curly thing out.

The main tip to master is a moisturizing routine and learning how to tame the frizz. Some rules from type 4 hair can apply to type 3.

Do not comb your hair when it’s dry.

Since the hair type is fine and tends to be dry, it’s more likely to break away when the hair has no moisture and it loses the curl definition when combed dry.

                                    

Detangle when highly moisturized.

 Type 3 can experience some tangling; it is advised to detangle or comb during a generous application of conditioner using a wide tooth comb. Always start from the tips working up to the roots.

Friction can cause frizz and tangle.

 Friction causes your hair to frizz up into a ball and undefined your curls. Just like type 4 hair a satin pillow or satin head wrap can prevent this.

Leave-in Conditioner and Anti frizz serum and gels are your friends.

Curly hair is more prone to frizz. This happens because the hair is low density allowing humidity to leech in easily, then the curls tighten and cause frizz. A good conditioning routine, less shampoo and more co washing helps. Hair type 3 benefits from a handful of leave-in conditioner, or an ant-frizz agent such as mousse or a light gel. Baby oil too tends to help this hair type fight the frizz. Formulate a moisturizing regime for your hair with either a leave in conditioner or natural oil or both. Stay away from products with sulphates and alcohol as they tend to dry the hair.

Air Dry for the most frizz free

Use correct tools.

To detangle this hair type a wide tooth comb should serve you well. You only then require a curl definition brush. To dry the hair using heat and still maintain your soft lustrous curls, Use a diffuser on the end of your blow dryer and don’t forget heat protection.

 Diffuser when blow drying.

Detangling

Final curl defining brush 

                                                                                     

The products that I would recommend are similar to type 4 hair products for shampoo and conditioning. See the previous issue for details. Know what is in your product and keep away from sulphates and alcoholic contents. For daily moisture I recommend a hair pudding, this helps to keep the natural curl pattern, as well as the fight frizz. I would also recommend a hair finisher/polisher that has silicon prior to the pudding or leave-in conditioner as this seals the hair shaft in fine type 3 strands fighting off humidity. Be careful with anti-frizz hair sprays as these can cause the hair to be sticky and clump together causing tangles. Test the spray consistency in your hand to see if it is suitable before you buy.

 All products available at some Nakumatt stores and at Super Cosmetic stores.

    

                                                 

I hope sharing my tips has helped you fight your way through the frizz and has encouraged you to try type 3 extensions, if you require less maintenance hair that is not far from natural African hair.  I am not a hair stylist but a hair enthusiast, the best way to learn is through experience. Type 3 hair is my go to hair for beach holidays that involve a lot of swimming. I prefer it because it requires almost no detangling and no heat to create lustrous curls. One condition, hair pudding and silicon polish after air drying and hair is back to the lustrous curls as before my swim. If you are looking for protective styles and want to try type 3 extensions or wigs. You can find genuine human hair products at www.bodyofhair.com

Written by Nempiris Lesiit

Go to the Magazine Website: www.spinklymagazine.com