Monday, July 1, 2013

The Ideal Woman; Part 1

I think every woman should sit down and write a literal letter to her  little mini-self, to steer herself along the bumpy paths and  have the tools and skills she needs to take control of her own life. Stereotypes held that our fulfillment was only in sexual passivity, male domination & nurturing maternal love and projected us as unable to make important decisions, dependent and in need of a man's protection and acceptance. We've now become the super women who completes all tasks of an ideal woman while still maintain career goals of the modern woman. Now for those learning the ropes here's how we got here and every woman must know this, be this and have this.

  l Read Often
      Intelligence is refreshing. My lecturer used to tell me, “a smart woman knows a little bit about a lot of things.”.There is much more to life than your work and spending time aimlessly with latest technology products. Reading books gives you that much needed break from the chaos in your life. It instills peace inside you, makes you relaxed and also exercises your brain in the process. Read biographies/autobiographies of highly successful people in different industries. Notice common themes in their stories, and take comfort that everyone clueless and began from somewhere, and getting to the top hasn’t been a smooth ride for anyone.

 l  Know When to Be Quiet
      seemingly every parent I know told their children some version of “You have two ears and one mouth” as a way f encouraging them to listen. It’s advice to take into adulthood. If you’re always talking, you’re always telling too much. Sit back and observe more. You aren't responsible for knowing everything all the time or even knowing when people need to talk some of the time, just be aware of them and they will somehow let you know it’s time for you to be quiet. Let other folk yammer on. You might be startled what you discover and we all  sure know that silence is golden.

 l  Be a Do-er
Plan to win. Don’t be content with simply having a great idea. After all, the idea is often just a small fraction of the journey. It’s what you do with your ideas, dreams, and passions that count. In your journey to be a doer, remember, as your thoughts become more, you become more. Therefore commit to thinking on a higher level, develop high goals and plans of implementation, establish and maintain relationships that add to your life instead of subtract, and diminish the barriers to your motivation. People respect folk who get things done, period. Doesn’t matter how big or lofty it is, it can always be broken down into baby steps. When I am overwhelmed by an assignment or new task, I’ve found myself asking, “And so how do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.” (Think about it.)

l  Go Out Alone
You should know how to enjoy your own company, whether it’s taking yourself to a movie, a concert or across an ocean on a trip. If you don’t treat yourself well, why should anyone else? And if you can’t stand to be alone with you … Again, why should anyone else? You can go places on your own and survive - you can meet new friends, and have great times without waiting to tag along with others. It's a great feeling!

 l  Be Confident and Gorgeous
Choose clothes that suit your body shape, your coloring and your personal lifestyle. Don't choose something just because it's high fashion; focus on classic pieces which you can wear and love forever. Exercise two hours everyday. Use a program that you are physically capable of doing. Drink enough water. Keep hydrated but don't get ridiculous. Displaying your confidence through walk, smile, and gaze goes a long way towards being attractive, even if you might not have the "societal" standards of beauty (i.e a certain bust size, long legs, luscious hair etc.). Bright, intelligent eyes are also very appealing. Women who possess confidence and character are far more beautiful, no matter their physical appearance.

l  Learn to love yourself
This is probably the most vital part of the process. Believe it or not, no matter how bad you feel about yourself, you are not alone. So many girls feel depressed or are in competition with others. Self-love is at the very core of wellbeing, joy, self-empowerment, and your ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want. You cannot enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.

To start building self esteem, first listen to how you talk to yourself. You first have to be aware of a situation before you can change it. Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
"There is something wrong with me. I’m really messed up." "It’s all my fault."  "I’m incompetent. I don’t know what I’m doing."  "I’m not (good, smart, attractive, rich, etc.) enough."  "I’m not as (good, smart, attractive, successful, etc.) as that person."  "I’ll never be able to do this. I don’t have what it takes."

Until you learn how to love yourself, this is how you will keep crippling yourself. You will not be able to move forward or go after the things you want.;  humility, patience, discipline, punctuality, effort and friendliness have the biggest chance of helping one achieve a lasting success and enjoyable life.

We exhaust this in the next issue but do start today to be the ideal woman!
 Written by Ricalda Makena

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