Wednesday, July 17, 2013


Some things just happen as they will in life. Some things are just written in that destiny pad and no one can understand why they happen. Sometimes women also cheat; maybe not for the same reasons as their male counterparts, maybe not just for the heck of it. Maybe there comes a time when the bell in her mind keeps ringing, signaling the manifestation of profound unhappiness. Maybe things just happen. A lot of unfortunate things befall us in our pursuit of happiness. At times the things that we go for in relationships change. It is very easy to wake up one day and realize that the one you thought you could spend the rest of your life with just does not bring you those feelings any more. I may be the wrong person to handle beauty and a cheat. I may not really know what some women hold in the deepest corners of their hearts. I do insist that I never speak for the women who toy around and go after material things. I am a woman and for sure I do know the things that time and again would have been my reasons for cheating.

The ultimate reason why any woman would cheat is when she feels less appreciated, when the man begins to ignore the very existence of her. You have to admit that in this very busy life, we at times forget to show the ones we love how much they mean to us. Life becomes sort of a routine. Men stop phoning. Men stop sending messages. They stop showing the woman how much she is worth. Little compliments do go a long way. However, picture having your husband actually becoming more of a roommate than a partner. You can feel the rift between you widening. Everyone retreats to that silent corner after work. What would you do if there was someone out there who complimented you, who spoiled you, who cared how you felt? Most women cheat because the spark is gone, the man no longer cares, no longer appreciates, takes her for granted. Most times the men do not even notice the shift in the relationship. Most times when women complain they are labeled as nagging. We all know that any real man never stops showing the woman he loves how much she means to him even after he has got her. We all know a woman's sexual appeal is ignited by the attention she receives all through the day from someone she loves. Take that away and she is left wondering if she could have done better. She is left wallowing in a loneliness that she could decide to have erased by anyone who cares to give her the attention she requires.

Women love being seduced, courted, and feeling wanted. Men often think that they do not need to work as hard once the girl is in their pockets. Women sometimes cheat because the fire has dimmed down. Sometimes the sexual satisfaction is just way below par. Sometimes the everyday routine becomes almost like torture. Light up her imagination. Try different things. Find out what brings out the sparkle in her eyes, what makes her feel loved and cherished. Otherwise she might be lying there thinking that you are not the man she married, and that is always a dangerous road to go down. There are times a woman isn't really in a relationship. There are times the woman, believe me, has already ended a relationship in her mind even before letting the man know and she is just moving on. Sometimes we get fed up of trying to make it work. Sometimes the fire fizzles out. Sometimes we grow up and we stop going for the swag and glamour, but instead begin looking for someone we could settle down with. Sometimes we cheat to make an unaware man jealous. Sometimes we cheat because our men have done it before and we are looking for the sweetest revenge. Sometimes we cheat because we feel vulnerable. The truth is, infidelity for any woman, most often begins with emotional cheating. When she can't find a listener in her husband, she will look elsewhere for that hug, for that assurance, for the praises of beauty that shoot up her self-confidence beyond the sky.

Yes, some women do cheat. However, I find it hard to believe that any woman would even think of doing this if the emotional attachment she had in her relationship was satisfactory. We are by far very emotional beings. We need to feel the connection. We need to feel the love, the security that we are the queens of the castle. Believe me if the attention we seek from you dwindles, if you ignore us and only meet us up in bed, if you no longer drop in that unexpected text or gift, someone might just come our way and sweep us off our feet. The grass on the other side may not always be greener, but maybe just for a while we would feel appreciated. So always keep in mind the Luo saying that goes, “A woman is like a bicycle, if you do not keep it well, someone might steal it and ride it.” You have to oil your bicycle with love, with words, with deeds. Do not expect that a woman knows how you feel. We may be able to read your minds but we still need to be told, to be shown, to be held.

Written by Maureen Songa

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