It is with absolute certainty that most of us have come
across those who would otherwise be known as “the other women.” These are the
women who make the third in a relationship that belongs to two. These are the
women who are alleged to have broken homes, brought tears and shame to many.
Some of them claim to have done so unknowingly. Some are monsters that just do
not care. Some love to make prey. They love attacking and watching their
victims bleed to death. So even as the “Mpango
wa kando” advert has garnered a lot of discussion on the morality state of
our society, the main question really is “Is the other woman a monster, or is
she an obsessed misconception about love.” What is it that makes another woman
fall for a married man? What is it that makes a woman get into a relationship
with a man who already has a family? There is certainly a new crop of women
sprouting up in this country. They go for the men who already have families to
take care of claiming that these men are responsible. If only they knew.
The truth is that no man ever totally leaves a family he
worked so hard for. At some points in life they always crawl back to the one
who loved them when they had nothing in their wallets. At some point the “mpango wa kando” simply over stays her
welcome and assumes the exact meaning of her name. There are those who get
obsessed enough to track out their so called enemies. There are those who get
into fist fights, fighting for that which they did not even have in the very
beginning. There are those who resort to suicide once they confirm that they
were simply fresh faces to be used and dumped. There are those who claim to have
fallen so helplessly in love and they would rather die than live without
another woman's husband. Well, as much as not all women who agree to be mpango wa kando are not monsters, the
vice is simply wrong. If you claim that you did not know about the man's wife
or girlfriend in the beginning, then as soon as you find out, you should make
your exit. You shouldn't stick around and try to extend your minutes of fame.
You should love yourself enough to say no coming in as second best. I often
wonder why women attack each other over a man who might end up leaving both of
you. Why fight another woman when she wasn't the one in a relationship with
you. Why do we let the men walk of so easily?
There are however other women who resort to behaving like
monsters. I must say that in my life I have met two. Most of us do not really
know what true love is. If you think that you need to steal another's man to be
happy in life then you do not love yourself enough, you do not value yourself.
If you think that mpango ya kando do
not affect the other family as long as the man is still taking care of them
then you have the biggest misconception about love. No child should ever have
to scramble for the attention of his father simply because he is somewhere
giving attention to his much younger girlfriend. No woman should ever have to
suffer and listen to abuses hurled at her by the other woman. For sure no woman
should ever have to raise a child that her husband got from infidelity. No
matter what everybody thinks, being the other woman is a misconception about
love. It eats at you no matter how much you pretend. It destroys families, it
gnaws and chews the love that once was and turns into bile and hatred. It makes
some children go without their fathers. It builds resentment. If you are the
other woman and you still claim that you are in love, then you have surely
never felt real love. Period.
Written by Maureen Songa
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