Everybody deserves love. Yes, even you. Why does it take so long for human beings to realize that, especially women? We go along our early years of life falling for the men who never give us back any love…knowing this is what we deserve or even yet thinking we can change the baddest boys to good. I think it is the sense of vanity within us, that even though other girls could not turn that beast into a man, I surely am the only girl whom will fall in love with him, and he will surely change.
Some girls are lucky, they grow up. They get tired of this illusion. They get tired of the constant let down and heart break. They just want to be loved fully and completely and they want to give back that kind of love. It is not a realization you wake up with suddenly one morning. It is something you discover catering to your own needs first and foremost. It’s something you get when you actually spend time with and by yourself. You step outside of your comfort zone. You do stuff that scares you. And just for you. You enjoy your own company. You think you are beautiful without even being told. You walk like you are the fiercest thing on ANTM. Yes…people will start wondering how you have so much confidence. And they will admire you for it. And want you for it. Confidence is the most attractive thing on a woman. You can be a size 16 or a size 0 but you rock that body. You have the x factor.
I learnt this in college. I flaunted my strengths and forgot about my weaknesses. They were really so nonexistent that I cannot even remember what they are now. Yeah I do think I am that girl. And that annoyed the hell out of the nay Sayers. But boy did it feel good. And with it came the attention. Good and Bad. For the good, I accepted the vibrations. For the bad I changed whatever I was sending out to the universe by asking for exactly what kind of attention I wanted and from whom.
Women forget their power, or rather human beings in general. God has given us that power. We have free will. To believe in the good of the universe or to just accept that bad things continually befall us. I chose the harder course. Believe in the good even if the world told me not to. And I prayed. When I got something bad, I moved away and fast! That is why I have the best of friends, the most wonderful experiences, the, most amazing days… I created it.
Am not saying it was all a bed of roses. It isn’t, even now. I just took control! And I embraced it all, loving myself at the same time and I did not give up. Not giving up on love for you is the most important advice I would give. If a relationship is not honoring you let it go, so as to create space for better things. You should not keep holding on to the negativity. You should make space for the good to fit in. You want love, start loving yourself the way you think you deserve. We get the love we think we deserve. Change your freaking mentality. The world has good people, good experiences, and good things. Are you going to open your eyes to them or just continue living in the dark recesses of your mind? Choose love.
Written by Freddy Njeri