Tuesday, April 9, 2013


Women battle with much insecurity in their life. From the color of their skin, the shape of their nose, the size of their lips, to their height. The list is endless. Adding to this trail of insecurity is the worry that the man they are in love with may not stick around long enough. The most dominant question in our minds is how to keep this guy without coming out too aggressive or desperate.

I think the best approach is to always secure your dignity, in whatever you do to keep this man. Most of the time we act from emotion and we all know that an emotional reaction can sometimes be misplaced and we wind up regretting the action or feeling like the fool.

So, to get started, realize that you are your own person and that he is his own person. What this means is to give him space. It may sound cliché but the more space you can give him, the more he is likely to value you. Space shows that you have other things going on in your life besides the man you love.

Something else I think helps is to invest time to learn what he like and doesn’t, how he communicates, and when to communicate. Of course this is a two way street; you both need to know how the other functions and how each of you reacts in certain situations.

Once you know what he likes and how he communicates, you will determine when to talk and when to shut up, when to say something and when not to say it. A man wants to feel understood first. Research indicates that one of the reasons why some men cheat is that the other woman seems to understand them.

Another big pointer is to consider the ego. When we talk about the ego, we tend to think that only men have an ego. The truth is that we all have an ego and when two egos collide, there is major fiery conflict. We need to recognize his ego and sometimes stroke it. This strategy goes hand in hand with seeking to understand him.

Stroking his ego means allowing him to be right when necessary, or avoiding situations that may make him look like a fool in the presence of his friends. Stroking his ego means allowing him to lead the way, to feel like a king. Yes, this may seem difficult to do for your man but just imagine yourself a queen seeking to please her king.

Instead of putting him down all the time or belittling him, boost that ego.  An ego is not always a bad thing.  You can try these few pointers every day. They may not only enhance yourself development but may also help to show your man that all he needs, you can readily offer.

Written by Donna Moses

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