Growing up I always wondered what that phrase meant. Am not
sure it even makes complete sense at this point now. But the reverse of that of
course is having what you want. This is a never ending fixation for everyone.
We never have enough and that is why it is important to actually desire that
which you have at the present moment. Schooling in contentment you might say.
I am one of those who are never fulfilled. I am always
waiting for things to get better, never savoring the present moment. And I seem
to never learn that nothing lasts forever. Even if I get that raise. Even if I
buy those gorgeous new boots. Even if I get that darling haircut. I will still
not be happy ceaselessly. Contentment is an unstable emotion. It fades like the
wind. And it sure is a quest of fairy-tale proportions to expect myself to
always be blissful.
On the contrary, it is normal though to wish for more. To
yearn for more. To grow is only healthy. But then I wonder; when will I just
learn to embrace the now? When will learn that I am perfect for now? That today
I am actually at my ideal. I used to look at other women my age and think they
have it all together. That they have everything figured out. I look at my older
siblings and wonder if they were ever as confused as I was at this point in
their lives. What did they do to get that perfect job, meet that perfect man,
and have those perfect kids with that perfect house? Luckily I am slowly
learning.
Lately I have come to realize that I was fooling myself. I
was only on the outside looking in. When I spent more time with these women, I
realized so many parallel paths to my own. They were not anywhere close to
faultless beings. They had the same struggles I did and funny enough they even
reminded me of myself. So I am now on a new journey to water my own grass and
would love to share the knowledge I have accrued so far:
·
Getting outside of my head: Sometimes
I am so confused by my own problems that it leads to a lot of navel gazing. I
go round and round in circles that eventually lead nowhere. I have learnt to
let out a deep breath for a moment and be concerned about the people I love instead
of on my own issues.
·
Having a gratitude journal: At the
end of each day, I take time to write down all the good things that are
happening to me, no matter how few of those they may be. There is always
something to be thankful for. And whether you believe in the power of the
universe or not, this always has a positive effect on your outlook.
·
Express my anxiety: Sometimes
we bottle up all our emotions, assuming no one else would ever understand what
we are going through. But once you open up to close friends or people with
similar interests to yours, you realize that a person is a social creature who
needs that human connection with others to strive.
·
Indulge in your creature comforts: Do
whatever it is that nourishes your soul. Makes you laugh. Makes you stop being
so self-aware. For me it is music and dancing. Music just hits all the right
spots. I can become any character I want with music. I can be anything with my
own amazing soundtrack in the background. You will love yourself and life even
the more.
Written by Freddy Njery
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