Thursday, April 18, 2013


Growing up I always wondered what that phrase meant. Am not sure it even makes complete sense at this point now. But the reverse of that of course is having what you want. This is a never ending fixation for everyone. We never have enough and that is why it is important to actually desire that which you have at the present moment. Schooling in contentment you might say.

I am one of those who are never fulfilled. I am always waiting for things to get better, never savoring the present moment. And I seem to never learn that nothing lasts forever. Even if I get that raise. Even if I buy those gorgeous new boots. Even if I get that darling haircut. I will still not be happy ceaselessly. Contentment is an unstable emotion. It fades like the wind. And it sure is a quest of fairy-tale proportions to expect myself to always be blissful.

On the contrary, it is normal though to wish for more. To yearn for more. To grow is only healthy. But then I wonder; when will I just learn to embrace the now? When will learn that I am perfect for now? That today I am actually at my ideal. I used to look at other women my age and think they have it all together. That they have everything figured out. I look at my older siblings and wonder if they were ever as confused as I was at this point in their lives. What did they do to get that perfect job, meet that perfect man, and have those perfect kids with that perfect house? Luckily I am slowly learning.

Lately I have come to realize that I was fooling myself. I was only on the outside looking in. When I spent more time with these women, I realized so many parallel paths to my own. They were not anywhere close to faultless beings. They had the same struggles I did and funny enough they even reminded me of myself. So I am now on a new journey to water my own grass and would love to share the knowledge I have accrued so far:

·         Getting outside of my head: Sometimes I am so confused by my own problems that it leads to a lot of navel gazing. I go round and round in circles that eventually lead nowhere. I have learnt to let out a deep breath for a moment and be concerned about the people I love instead of on my own issues.
·         Having a gratitude journal: At the end of each day, I take time to write down all the good things that are happening to me, no matter how few of those they may be. There is always something to be thankful for. And whether you believe in the power of the universe or not, this always has a positive effect on your outlook.
·         Express my anxiety: Sometimes we bottle up all our emotions, assuming no one else would ever understand what we are going through. But once you open up to close friends or people with similar interests to yours, you realize that a person is a social creature who needs that human connection with others to strive.
·         Indulge in your creature comforts: Do whatever it is that nourishes your soul. Makes you laugh. Makes you stop being so self-aware. For me it is music and dancing. Music just hits all the right spots. I can become any character I want with music. I can be anything with my own amazing soundtrack in the background. You will love yourself and life even the more.
Written by Freddy Njery

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