Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Letters To My Daughters

One of my passions in life will always be women. I will always crave to impact and change the life of a little girl, to teach them how to dream and reach beyond the stars. In my heart of hearts I always believe that my soul shall soar beyond the heavens, singing a happy rhythm, if only I can touch the hearts of at least eight young girls, if I can only inspire them to visualize the realities that await beyond village life, and suffering, and poverty. Call me sexist, but this is for all the women, the epitome of strength and wisdom, those who at one point in time, have rubbed their shoulders with mine, and left an enduring sense of inspiration.

You are woman. You are priceless. You possess strength within every fiber of your being. You are stronger than you think you are. When you are filled with doubt and your energy seems to fail you, just remember that you are woman, the very core of strength. Do not ever let anybody tell you that you cannot achieve. Reach for your goals. Work hard for them. Do not rely on anybody's pity. Some say we are the weaker sex, but what they do not realize is that there is a lot of strength in weakness.

No man under the skies is worth pulling another woman's hair over. You do not need to hurl insults at another woman simply because you are fighting over a man. I believe us ladies are capable of stopping the scourge of the other woman. At no point in time, will a married man ever really leave his family for a sexy younger lady, not wholly anyway. I see women going on about how they still allow the married men to take care of their families and I silently wonder what happened to the strong women I so admired. No woman, no child should ever have to scramble for the attention of their father. No legitimate family should ever have to go without food simply because the man of that house decided to go buy Kentucky Fried Chicken for some other woman.

Sometimes love will hurt. Most times men will trample your heart. Buckets of tears will flow from your eyes. But eventually there will come a day when you will wake up and forget that you ever hurt that bad. In the end you will learn to move on to greater things. The ache will get easier with time. Greater men will come along, and you will wonder what you ever saw in your ex. The only thing that you will require is the will to love yourself enough to let go. Never ever stay in an abusive environment, for abuse will never be an event that occurs once and can be hidden away by the gift giving process. I long ago learnt, that domestic violence is a process, a chain of events that sways into a relationship slowly, something that begins with only a single slap, and the more you forgive, the deeper it becomes engraved in the heart of the relationship. Love yourself well enough to let go. Never be afraid to start over again. Do not ever be too scared of lonely to leave when you are hurting.

Education is the husband that will never cheat on you, beat you up or leave you for a hot younger woman. Enough said.

You are beautiful. You were born a queen. Look at the beauty that comes from inside. Do not let yourselves be defined by societal standards and demands. Make sure you feel comfortable in your own skin. Dress your age. Dress to feel gorgeous. Put on something sexy on the inside that only you know about. Be confident. Do not be ashamed of putting on a beautiful weave when you are the one who bought it.

The grace of God is most sufficient when you feel like you have hit rock bottom, when you are too ashamed to utter a word of prayer, when you just want to hide from the world. You do not need to pray out loud, you do not need a page full of words, all you need is a whisper, a tear. He will understand. Sometimes I wish I could listen to this advice.

Sometimes in this life you will find yourself doing shameful things, things scornful to the society. You might find yourself captured by sinful bonds. You might find yourself dating men you are ashamed to walk with in daylight. You might find your plate full of regrets. Always remember that when you finally find your bearing, all you need to do is to forgive yourself. Forgive YOURSELF. That is all that matters. Everything else is black and white, sinking sand.

Do not let your childhood background define the heights your success can reach. You can change all that. Dreams do come true, even those that are dreamt while learning under a tree. You can be the best that God intended you to be. Humble beginnings can only provide you the bearing you require to unleash the most phenomenal part of your being. It does not matter how your past has been. It does not matter whether you were the kind of child who climbed a guava tree for lunch simply because you had no food at home. You could be the one whose mother had to toil, breaking her back, even having to sell local brew simply to put you through school. However, that could change, it only requires the will, the desire and the spirit to analyze your aspirations beyond what the naked eye can recognize.

If you are blessed with girlfriends who truly care about you, hold them tight, cherish them. Such are scarce. Do not ever make the mistake of throwing them to the gutter simply because you got married, or you got children, or you pursued a different career. Women need each other. We need each other's hugs. Be happy for the achievements of your girlfriends. Support them in their pursuits. You too will be blessed.

 My dear daughters, I have lived in the presence of some of the most inspiring women of all. They taught me to walk this world with dignity. Head held up high. They taught me that wearing trousers is not a pre-requisite for being a mathematician, or an engineer, or a doctor. They showed me the sacrifices they would endure just to see me smile. They showed me the path to a brighter future, they lit my candle. I too, can only hope to pass over the mantle. For the love I feel inside, the passion that feels me each time I think of all the knowledge I can pass on to you, runs deeper than any still waters. By all means walk tall, be independent enough to stand on your own two feet. For those long luscious legs, that lovely smile, could only have been born of a priceless queen.

Written by Maureen Songa

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